


im going under and this time i fear there's no one to save me

by hopeful_idiot



Category: The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alpha Magnus Bane, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Clary is a little shit, Emotionally Hurt Alec Lightwood, F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Omega Alec Lightwood, POV Alec Lightwood, POV Magnus Bane, Past Rape/Non-con, Powerful Magnus Bane, Protective Magnus Bane, Shy Alec Lightwood, Single Parent Alec Lightwood, but not for long wink wonk, i cant write summaries for the life of me, i'll put more tags as the story progresses
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:20:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24377146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopeful_idiot/pseuds/hopeful_idiot
Summary: Alec Lightwood's life has just kept on going down ever since he presented as an Omega at age 15. For as long as he can remember, he has been struggling to get by with the one thing that's been keeping him afloat, falling into a pit of despair. When his parabatai and the girl he had fallen heads over heels for (ugh) drag him to some warlock party, he expects nothing to happen. But little did he know he would find the one who accepts him, who pulls him up from the pain.As Alec and Magnus fall deeper in love, will secrets and pasts come to break them up? What will they do as they both feel themselves going under, and under, and under.(title is from someone you loved by lewis capaldi, and im sorry for the bad summary)
Relationships: Clary Fray/Jace Wayland, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 31
Kudos: 188





	1. Pilot

Magnus Bane had a dilemma.

He rarely had any problems, he usually just fixed them with a snap of the wrist, a shot of magic. Broken faucet? Boom, fixed. Wrong colour of glitter? Bam, it’s purple now. 

Now he did not like to admit it, but being an Alpha also helped a great deal when being around people. Especially those he hated. _Even more_ so around those he liked.

Speaking of liked, the dilemma in question was in fact, a boy. He and his companions had very rudely barged in on his party, demanding his presence. (Technically it was his cat’s party, but he disappeared a long time ago, and now Magnus was the center of attention.)

He noticed that one of them was Clary, the girl whose memories he erased, and decided it was better to watch them from afar, as they attempted to find him. Did he mention she was with Shadowhunters? Bad, bad news, it was much better to avoid them.

So he blended in with the crowd, inhaling the scent of sweat and alcohol, watching the movement of bodies as they danced. The party was exquisite, it _was_ his party after all. The glitter flying through the air and colorful lights helped disguise him from the Shadowhunters.

Though he was easily the tallest in the room, they still had not found him. That was alright as it gave him more time to watch his dilemma. He longed to do more than just watch him, but this will do. 

The boy was standing back from the group of determined Shadowhunters who were interrogating downworlders, and seemed to have opted for fiddling with his tattered sweater. His hair was black as ebony, messy in all the ways Magnus liked. His eyes, _oh his eyes_ , were the bluest things Magnus had ever seen, it was as if the ocean had engulfed him and refused to give him back. His body seemed to be sculpted out of stone, pale, lean, and outright beautiful. 

Magnus had not met an omega in a long time, but he was sure the beauty in front of him was one. Omega’s to begin with are rare, male ones rarer. Male, _Shadowhunter_ omegas’s, now those were the rarest, as the bigoted Shadowhunters treated them like trash. The moment they presented, many were used just for the sake of breeding. After they gave all they could, they were separated from their pups, and the shock from the lack of bonding caused most to die. 

Shuddering at the thought of the innocent-looking teen being through such torture, Magnus picked up and took a sip of the martini he got from the counter on which he was leaning. 

There was an intoxicating scent coming from the omega. Something so sweet yet savory, all his inner Alpha wanted to do was lean down into the crook of the boy’s neck and scent him, bite him, mark-

The scent of distress shocked him back to his senses. The presumed omega cried out in surprise of being groped by a very drunk werewolf. His companions paid no heed, as they were deep in conversation with a faerie. Possessive anger filled Magnus like in no other way before and he appeared instantly at the omega’s side. 

He ripped off the werewolf’s grip and threw him into a portal. Magnus had no idea where it led to, but he hoped it was far. HIs attention was soon drawn to the omega Shadowhunter. The boy looked up from his eyelids, surprised at the lack of hands on his pert, delicious looking ass… There were tears in his eyes, but he still looked scared. Panting, Magnus realized that this was probably not the best first impression. For all he knew, he had a wild look in his eyes, messed up brightly coloured hair, and threatening Alpha pheromones. 

Magnus was flooded with feelings of pity and concern, and allowed his pheromones to be soothing and give him off trustworthy. But the boy looked as if he was struggling to not look him in the eye or breathe in any pheromones. Strange, Magnus thought, one would have thought an omega would bask in an Alpha's scent, especially if it was a calming one. Caught off guard by this reaction, all suave things he had planned on saying left his mind and he just stood there with an awkward arm around the boy.

  
  


Magnus was so distracted by the beautiful boy, he did not notice the short red head coming towards him. He barely registered the hand on his shoulder before he was dragged into a room. He was shoved on a bed as the door was locked. Coming to his senses, he realized his ‘kidnappers’ were the damned Shadowhunters. Swearing under his breath, he looked up.

Staring back was the golden one, he radiated the common Alpha big ego energy, and the stylish girl, looking closely, had a similar appearance to the boy, yet more tame, a Beta. Remembering the boy, he scanned the room for the troubled omega and saw him leaning against the wall trembling. Magnus got a strange feeling in his gut being around him. Shrugging it off, Magnus focused on Clary and the golden boy, one of whom looked as if they wanted to hurt him.

“YOU TOOK MY MEMORIES”, yelled Clary, and lunged forward, prompting the golden one to hold her back, who in question, had a tortured expression on his face. This did not, in fact, stop her from raging.

As his little biscuit went on and one about how betrayed she felt, Magnus focused more on the seemingly traumatized omega. The boy’s scent and changed from sweet to worried so quickly, Magnus was concerned. He radiated a worried aura, and Magnus had a feeling it had something more to do than the groping. He felt only resentment against the thing that made such a young boy so worried. The boy’s sudden glance at him brought him back to reality, and at a very pissed off Clary. 

  
  


Well that was one way to start off. He was also quite tired of being bothered. Leaning back, as he stretched his legs over one another, the Alpha High Warlock of Brooklyn sighed.

“Relax biscuit, no need to make a fuss,” he drawled out, looking lazily at the steaming-angry girl. 

“In fact, I should be the one to complain, as you barged in my party, with Shadowhunters. And they _don't_ even have the courtesy of introducing themselves!”

Rolling his eyes, the blonde one grinned and introduced himself as Jace. He learned the black haired, style goddess was Isabelle. 

Looking pointendly at the gorgeous, sweet smelling boy, he managed to get a mumbled “Alec” out of those sinful lips.

Satisfied for knowing his lovely’s name, he stood up and looked over at the confused-looking Shadowhunters and the one ball of fire who looked dangerously about to explode. 

“Well, come along, a bedroom is no place to talk about such matters” He said, leaning his head back looking at Alec from the corners of his eyes. 

“Unless it's about who goes on top”

His statement was treated by a cackle from Jace and a deep blush from Alec. Oh the ways he could make the boy blush.

Clary was still sputtering angrily, as he summoned a puppy plushie from thin air into her arms. 

Strutting out the bedroom, Magnus stood on a table and clinked a glass, announcing the party to be over. He barely got a glance. “ **I SAID THE PARTY IS OVER** ” he roared using his Alpha voice, causing everyone to jump in shock and rush out the door, afraid to bother the powerful Alpha anymore.

Grinning, he gestured towards the glitter covered kitchen table.

“Sit now little Shadowhunters, you all have got a long night”


	2. Pilot 2.0

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is Alec's version of that faithful night.

Alec had a dilemma.

More than that, he had a full on problem.

Not only did his parabatai go on a mission _without_ his guidance, he also **_runed_ **a mundane! Okay, she didn’t turn out to be a mundane, but still! What ever happened to laws and loyalty? 

If only Alec had gone on that mission. If only he was there to stop his parabatai from being a complete idiot. Maybe then he would not have been stuck with this, this, this irritating carrot top and her dare he say it, _mundane_ best friend! And one who would not stop staring at Isabelle.

How dare he! Alec’s big brother protectiveness was fuming.

But alas, Alec knew all too well that he would not have been able to participate in such a mission, no matter how simple it had seemed. There was some rouge shapeshifter on the loose, and Jace had refused to let him go.

“Alec are you crazy? If you think I will give you the A.O.K to put yourself in any type of danger, keep dreaming.” his parabatai had said firmly, shaking his head as he polished his blades in the training room.

“You have a life to take care of and a body to heal, go tend to them,” and after that Jace ignored all of Alec’s frustrated pleas until the latter stalked off to the library, knocking down all of Jace’s shiny knives on his way.

Oh the over protective parabatai. Oh those Alpha-obeying pheromones. Don’t get him wrong, Alec has nothing against his responsibilities, he just wished that he could be able to get stronger and go back to the working force. Not just working on home making. 

So when Jace and the redhead, ( _Clary,_ he reminded himself) had asked for his assistance as backup for their search for some warlock, he quickly accepted. He had rushed to find arrangements and before you could ask “Why do Jace’s boxers have lipstick on them?”, Alec was out the door with all his weapons 

The walk to the party was quite uneventful. If you counted Jace and Clary’s horrible attempts at flirting uneventful. To be honest, Alec found it quite amusing that Jace ‘Play-Boy Shadowhunter of the Year’ Wayland got flustered being around the fiery Beta. 

To make it worse, that mundane nerd kept trying to talk to him and Izzy about some sort of campaign about dragons in dungeons located in Brooklyn. It sounded pretty stupid to Alec, for dragons were rare, and only lived in Germany! Any intelligent person would know that. 

Deep in thought about how stupid his companions were (not Izzy of course, but it would help if she stopped grinning at the nerd so much), Alec ignored all worried glances Jace gave him. Gritting his teeth Alec decided to take the lead of the unfortunate group and stalked down the dark streets to the brownstone.

Jace jogged to catch up to him, hair flowing majestically, as if he was some shampoo ad. Alec scowled at him as his parabatai rang the bell. 

**“WHO DARES DISTURB THE HIGH WARLOCK OF BROOKLYN”** a loud voice answered back, and Alec was sure anyone could tell it was a recording.

But alas the nerd, who Izzy had referred to as Simon, shrunk back in fear. Alec moved to his side almost immediately, instantly regretting it. Simon looked at him surprised and as a grin appeared on that round face as he sniffed at his pheromones, Alec chided himself for being so responsive towards another Omega. 

“Dude! I did not know you were an Omega! Bro that’s so cool man you should totally come to my support group on Wednesdays….”

As Simon went on and on excitedly about how great it was to meet another omega, Alec watched Jace break in the building and they all trudged up the stairs.

“... And we could do sleepovers and movie nights, you know some good ol’ bonding-”

Simon was cut short as Clary knocked angrily on the shiny gold door, demanding to speak to, if Alec caught the name correctly, Magnus Bane. After a few moments of banging on the door, Alec pushed her aside and drew an Opening Rune on it.

And Raziel prepare him for what he saw next. 

There was glitter everywhere, and by what he means _everywhere._

On the posh sofas, on the chandelier, on the very expensive looking vases.

All the guests were downworlders and they all seemed drunk. Everyone was laughing and dancing with red cups littered around the modern apartment, with some werewolves trying to strip on the tables. Warlocks were turning small cat themed party favours into mice as vampires were shoving them into their pockets.

It was so much. It was so loud.

Alec should have stayed home.

_No,_ he reminded himself, he had a duty to fulfill. Jace had thought he was strong enough to go to a party, and he would not disappoint him!

At least that’s what Alec thought _before_ his companions left him to find Bane. 

Jace kept glancing uneasily at him from afar as Alec played lookout for the team. But yet again, Alec averted his gaze and focused his attention on Simon who was walking in an almost trance towards a group of vampires. Frowning, Alec recognized one as Raphael Santiago, the acting head of the clan, who on sight, had pulled Simon into a room in quite a rush. 

Now Alec was even more pissed off at everyone. They left him near the punch table and all Alec could do was watch people hook up! 

Alec’s angsty thoughts were suddenly shocked by a wave of unimaginable guilt and worry for what he left behind at home. Fiddling with his formula-covered sweater almost panicky, Alec’s mind was rushing with questions of what was happening to his baby while he was gone. Was he safe? Was he fed? Was he comfortable? What if- what if- what if he was left alone in the crib and was crying? Alec’s heart throbbed painfully hard at the thought.

_  
_ _“What’s such a pretty boy like you doing so alone?”_ someone growled into his ear, nipping it slightly. Alec yelped in surprise at the sudden contact, but luckily Jace had not heard, as he was busy talking to some faerie far away. 

The groping got worse as the sweaty hands began to trail up his legs and Alec suppressed the urge to cry. _Why?_ Why him? Why did being an Omega automatically mean he was instantly fuckable bait? This werewolf was forcing his pheromones on to him like he was some sort of dog. Alec could not deal with this right now, he just _couldn't._

This night was not going his way _at all._

  
  
  
  


But all that changed in a moment.

A moment that would be the first step towards changing the future of Alexander Gideon Lightwood’s life.

Cowering while also trying to fend off the werewolf, Alec had only just realized the werewolf gone when he heard a shriek and a flash of magic. 

There was a strong hand on Alec’s shoulder, and even stronger pheromones coming from the owner of them. Alec felt himself go weak in the knees, those pheromones were just so perfect, so flawless.

They were also very threatening. 

Alec looked up at his savior slowly, perhaps to savour the moment, perhaps in fear of what he would see. Perhaps for both.

And he was not disappointed.

Alec’s breath was taken away. The man in front of him could not have been more gorgeous. He gave off an Asain appearance, with tan skin and a tall, slim build. Despite that you could still see the firm muscles from underneath his snug purple waistcoat and skinny pants.

His face was so beautiful, all Alec wanted to do was touch it. His eyes took the main attention, as they were green and brown with flecks of yellow, and are those cat irises? 

His savior also had blue hair that was all over the place and an almost _murderous_ look in his eyes.

That look brought Alec to his senses, and almost immediately he held his breath and refused to look at this warlock anymore. He was probably looking at him like that because he wanted to do the same thing the werewolf did!

No matter how calming and trustworthy the man felt, no matter how much Alec wanted to submit to him and fall into his arms, Alec restrained himself. He would never let anyone take advantage of him. 

Never again. 

He would not fall back into the pattern of being deceived by friendliness. 

Never again.

  
  


He felt the man awkwardly relax his arm around him, he felt the concern in his gaze. 

Still struggling to calm himself down, Alec heard a cry, “THAT'S HIM!” and felt as the man was dragged away from him.

Alec breathed a sigh of relief. At least he hoped it was relief. 

As he followed his companions towards the room they had taken his ‘savior’ he could not shake off the strange feeling of loneliness that had taken hold of him the moment the warlock was dragged away.

He walked in the room the moment the warlock was pushed onto the bed by Jace and Izzy. Alec quickly locked the door to avoid any drunk Downworlders from interrupting.

The warlock, _wait, Alec thought, if they were looking for Magnus Bane, and if they had a warlock in the room that only meant that…_

Alec gasped and leaned against the wall. This meant he was almost harassed by the Alpha High Warlock of Brooklyn! This also meant that Alec had been the one to find him. Alec did not know whether to be appalled or proud of this fact.

Magnus Bane had a disgruntled expression on his face as Clary began to shout and scream about her missing mother and he lost memories and blah blah blah. 

Alec was more concerned with how confused he felt. Why did he feel so attracted to Bane? Why did his pheromones continue to sooth him no matter how hard he tried to avoid them? Why does Alec feel so empty and lonely? It must be his baby. He must be missing him. At least that’s what Alec told himself. 

Jace leaned over while restraining Clary towards him and touched his shoulder gently.

To anyone, this was simply a brush or a stumble. But Alec knew it was their signal for asking if they were alright. They could always feel each other through the bond, but physical answering reasured the other.

Alec looked up and shot Jace a small smile that said ‘Fine, just tired” and took a small look at Bane, who at the moment was staring right at him with those cat eyes of his.

The eye contact they made felt like the longest thing in the world. They both started each other over like they could not get enough of each other. 

Bane seemed to regain his mental footing after that and leaned back against the bedroom wall.

He looked so mischievous and smirked, sending shivers down Alec’s spine. HIs whole character looked so effortless, Alec found it hard to believe he would even glance at a lowly Omega like him.

Bane spoke in a light but smooth voice that Alec had wanted to just bathe in and blushed as he saw everyone's gaze on him.

Guessing he had asked for his name, Alec stuttered it out. _C’mon Alec you can do better than that! You never got this flustered over Alphas so why now?_

Magnus Bane glided towards the door making sure never to lose eye contact with Alec.

“The bedroom is no place to speak about such matters,” head drawled out teasingly.

“Unless it’s about who goes on top”

This comment made Alec want to hide yet it pleased him, getting recognized by such a powerful Alpha. Alec tried to hide to aroused blush climbing up his face.

Oh Angel, Alec prayed.

This was going to be a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Thanks for all this support from just the first chapter! You guys make me so motivated. As you can tell, Alec has a troubled backstory, wonder what it is..........


	3. Chapter 3

Magnus felt like he was going to explode.

Maybe it was the splitting headache he got from trying to explain to Clary over and over again about why he could not give her back the memories. She persisted and whined but her frustrated state could not comprehend the fact that she would get them back the longer she stayed with the Shadowhunters.

“It’s a matter of how long you stay away from my memory magic, biscuit,” Magnus sighed for the 14th time.

They had been sitting on the sticky-with-glitter-glue table for half an hour now and were getting nowhere. 

Maybe it's because of Alec, who was the only reason he had not fallen asleep yet. The poor boy had all of Magnus’s attention. 

He was so sweet, trying to act like he didn’t care about Magnus at all as if he did not shoot small, longing glances towards him every other second.

Now and then, Magnus would make eye contact during one of his very ‘discreet’ looks and earn a blush and stammer from the Omega.

While he and Alec were playing the cat and mouse game, Jace had _actually_ fallen asleep and Isabelle and opted for occasionally nodding to whatever Clary was saying now and texting.

“AND MY MOTHER IS MISSING! DID I MENTION THAT! HUH, YOU PSYCHOPATH HOW COULD YOU TAKE MY MEMO-”

She did not get the chance to finish the thought, as Magnus had had enough of her and put a sleeping charm on her.

The sound of Clary’s small body hitting the floor made everyone wince. Sighing for what felt like the hundredth time that day, Magnus summoned some pillows and a futon for Clary to sleep on comfortably.

He was annoyed, but not heartless.

Jace woke with a start, “Wha- wha happem Alec, is it Max? I’ll tay care of him dun worry,” he slurred out struggling to open his eyes, trying to stretch his arms out but ended up promptly slapping himself in the face and knocking himself out again.

Magnus noticed how Alec’s expression had suddenly turned worried and just as fast to one of ‘casual but trying too hard’.

“Oh Jace, talk about delayed reaction, _ha haha_ ,” Alec laughed nervously, putting too much emphasis on the ha haha.

Sensing the discomfort Jace’s semi-conscious self had caused, Magnus decided to change the subject. 

The only problem was, he did not know what to say.

Yes, yes the master charmer Magnus Bane had nothing to say to a teenager.

Oh how the turntables indeed.

“Well imma head out,” mumbled Isabelle, getting up from the chair, saving Magnus from any more tantalizing thoughts

“Where do you think you are going?” demanded Alec anger in his eyes, crossing his arms.

“At this time? Really Izzy? I thought you were above hooking up with random people!”

“Well maybe if you stopped judging me for the stuff I did, maybe I would tell you! Ever since that one hook-up catastrophe you are always so annoying! I never heard any complaints when Simon went off to fuck with some vampires so why me?,” She retorted back impatiently as she got on her boots.

Alec said nothing but looked at her with his mount in a stern line.

“Whatever, have fun helping Jace and Clary,” Isabelle huffed, “And for your information, I’m not going to slut around, I'm going to see my boyfriend!” with that she closed the door behind her with a flourish.

Well that was something, Magnus thought to himself.

Taking a peak at Alec, Magnus witnessed the boy breaking down.

The Omega started to shake and put his face in his hands. 

Magnus’s instincts made him quickly wrap his arms around the boy and hold him. He urged his pheromones to soothe and held him as he trembled.

“I-I just want her to be safe,” Alexander sobbed into Magnus’s chest.

“I don’t know why I’m acting like this, I never get this emotional with Izzy, but she’s my little sister and I’ve been so worried today and i don’t know whether Mom is taking care of Max properly an’ I feel so confused I just wanna…Alec rambled on and on as Magnus held him.

Magnus did not know what was going on in this troubled boy’s life, or what was wrong, but he did know that this Omega needed some long-overdue comfort. So that’s what Magnus gave him.

A few minutes and a whole lot of tissues and tears later, the two were cuddled on the couch. Alec had fallen asleep during his incomprehensible babbling and now had his head on Magnus’s chest, taking deep breaths, inhaling Magnus’s savory scent.

For the first time the Shadowhunter’s had barged in and ruined his party, Magnus had some time to think. 

The first thought that came to his head was how adorable this guarded Shadowhunter was. Oh how Magnus wished they could stay like this forever.

But Magnus wondered about what the Omega was crying about. Who was Max? Why would his mother be taking care of him?

It could be a sibling, Magnus mused, maybe he was concerned for him? 

It was strange though, how this boy had immediately been soothed and tamed by Magnus. It usually took quite a bit of courting and exposure for an Omega to so quickly trust an Alpha. He did not know whether to be pleased or worried for the fact he had the Omega so close to him so soon. This boy had a serious longing for trust and safety.

Magnus felt an ache for a bond that the Omega was missing. There are only a few bonds that could make an Omega so emotional and vulnerable. One with his mate and one with his….

Magnus took a closer look and sniffed deeply at the slight man in his arms, could he be a-?

He was so young, so innocent, and Magnus could not sense a mating bite or bond on him. On the contrary the young Omega’s slim, pale neck was open towards him, inviting, taunting…..

Wiping away his drool, Magnus came to the conclusion. The worry, the panic, the vulnerability of a seemingly cold Omega led to one thing.

This boy was a new parent.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for not updating in a while..... hope this makes it up to you guys!


	4. Chapter 4

The first thing that came to Alec’s mind when he woke up was  _ warm _ . 

_ Strange _ he thought, his loft was never this warm. Not even in the summer. 

He sleepily felt around and found heavy arms cushioning him against a broad chest. Looking up, he saw the handsome warlock from before. 

Alec was once again struck with overwhelming love and lust, trust and comfort, all because of this man. All Alec wanted to do was snuggle in more, to stay there, in between his sleeping warlocks arms on the plush sofa. 

His heart ached to know this mystery man more. His neck was so close, so teasing. Just a little nip Alec said to himself. Just a little taste. A small sample of the glittery man. 

His body leaned more forward to reach the neck. Without thinking, Alec stuck his tongue out and licked it gingerly. He did not know what he was doing, but he liked it. He sucked and scented as Magnus stirred in his sleep, but Alec could not stop. The Alpha began to exert more pheromones and they were intoxicating, making him want more. _More more more!_ _So yummy~_ Alec smiled to himself, _My Alpha._

  
  
  
  


**_What the fuck._ **

A sudden shock went through Alec’s body. He quickly pulled himself away from the semi-unconscious Alpha in a sudden panic.

_ Oh no, no no no no no.  _ His brain fought inside of his head. Old voices that will never go away started.  _ What are you doing? Bending completely at this man's will? Weak. Weak Omega. You would just lick any man who comes at you with a lollipop huh? Pathetic, just sucking on the man's neck like the whore you are. _

His heart pounded in his chest to fast it constricted his breath. Alec tried to remember what had happened before. Unconsciously, he began stroking the warlock's,  _ Magnus Banes ,  _ hair. For some reason this calmed him down. Pushing his fingers through the rough black hair, Alec recalled the night.

He had been so infiltrated with the unique character in front of him. He was all sparkle and sarcasm, wearing down Clary’s questions with his smart remarks. Magnus Bane was handsome alright, handsomer than any Alpha he had  pleased  _ met.  _ But Alec could not stand the ache he felt whenever he saw the Alpha. It was not just the desire of an Omega, but something more. That conflicted him, so he tried to ignore it. He really did try. But the scent promising him of the safety and comfort he had been looking for so long was right in front of him. 

On top of that ache, he felt something else. His baby. His son. His joy. His will to live. The Silent Brother had said the strong bond between an Omega and their first newborn is one hard to loosen , especially in the first few months. The separation anxiety he felt was hard to explain. Every minute away from his pup felt as if his lungs were squeezing, so hard until he could not breathe.

Jace only made him more aware of it. What would the glamorous warlock think of him if he knew this? As another Omega slut no less. Why would anyone ever want to look at him anyway? He was just a failure and disappointment.  _ An Omega. _

A sob found its way up his throat as he watched Magnus put Clary to bed with a tender look on his face. That was what he was supposed to be doing right now. He should be tucking in Max. He should be beside his pup, protecting him, nurturing him, not on a mission. He was not meant for missions. Fear ran through Alec's veins as he thought of what was happening to him.

He had a sudden urge to take everyone in this room under his arms and lick them clean, to take care of them. When Izzy had gone he felt as if he had failed as an Omega. He let one of his go! What type of mother was he that could not keep those he loved safe? 

The concerned gaze from the heart breakingly soft Alpha was enough for Alec to break down. He felt a slight hand stroke his hair soothing him alongside those damn pheromones again. It was deja vu. 

At that moment, Alec felt as if he could lower his defences. He never felt like this before, not even with Jace. But it just spilled out of him, in long strings of babbles. He rambled on and on through the tears, barely comprehending being carried to the soft sofa. All he knew was that he was safe with this Alpha. Nothing more, nothing less. 

  
  


Now, Alec’s mind raced with questions on what was happening. Why was he so attracted to this man? So intoxicated by him? So ready to do whatever this man asked?

He was scared.

  
  


But, he was also tired. So very tired. 

So he gave up the fight inside his head, shut away all thoughts and went back to lying down on top of the calming Alpha. Relaxing to the sound of his heartbeat, a reminder that he is alright.

Whatever is happening to him could wait, he wanted to feel safe, from his thoughts and his life, even if it was for a little while with a stranger.

_ “Mate”,  _ Alec inner Omega purred sleepily and with that, he fell back to a deep slumber, in a peaceful apartment with his comrades, 

and an Alpha who was very much awake.

  
  
  



	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slight nsfw this chapter...

Magnus was frozen. 

Fuck. Magnus began to sweat uncontrollably as the Omega snuggled against him. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Out of ALL the time for his body to react, it was now? 

He willed himself not to give himself away as the Omega scented him. 

He held his breath as he whimpered and rubbed himself against him. He prayed to every deity, angel, God, Budda he could think of as the omega tugged at his hair in an eased frenzy. But no one was on his side as the omega curled around him moaning “ _ Mate _ ” in his ear before promptly passing out.

Magnus shivered hearing the word slip out of Alexander's plump lips. God this boy was a masterpiece. A fucking work of art-

But Magnus had to focus. Running his hand through his gelled hair he contemplated. This was getting serious. This meant the boy felt the same connection he did. Well, _his_ _body,_ sure did. Adjusting himself slowly as not to wake the sleeping boy he slid off the couch onto the floor. Not even 5 seconds after his body touching the floor his omega began to mewl, desperately trying to find the Alpha’s scent.

‘Okay’, Magnus thought to himself. This was getting a bit more serious. But first the omega. He quickly scented a blanket the best he could and wrapped him in it. Alec looked so cute wrapped up like a burrito, cheeks puffed out as he dreamt,  _ just waiting to be eaten up _ . Magnus' heart felt as if it was going to burst.

He staggered to the bathroom in a trance. None of that could have been real. A random Omega he just met did not just call him, a random Alpha, his fated mate. He did not rub against him. He did not _ lick  _ him.

_ The bulge in his pants had something else to say.  _

One thing was for sure, Alexander had reeked of fertility. The scent of a motherly omega truly was something else… So strong Magnus could smell it from here. It made the tightness in his slick jeans strain to its breaking point. 

_ Now what was the problem with a breeder Omega wanting to mate with him?, _ his brain hummed.  _ Taking him over and over, round after round… Raising his children and pleasing his Omega for the rest of his life… How angelic he would look after being ravaged by a monster like him? Would he cry? Would he beg him for more? Oh yes. The thought of a sweaty, tear and cum stained Alec underneath him, begging for his cock again, not being able to stop his delicious moans... _

Caught up in his thoughts he barely registered his hand reaching towards his boxers. Magnus’s cat eyes flew open suddenly and he jerked his hands in the air and CRASH! fell in the tub. ‘ _ Owwww _ ,’ he murmured to himself half-heartedly.

“WHAT THE HELL?”, he roared in his mind as he hit head against the wall. This was wrong, he decided as the shower curtain fell on him. Very wrong. He simply could live with himself if he jerked off listlessly to a sleeping and vulnerable Omega. The shame was not worth that. _ His Alexander _ was not worth that. What had gotten into him?

Checking again to see if the omega was content, Magnus snuck out of the tub as quietly as possible. But of course, it was impossible for the _GREAT MAGNUS BANE_ to leave a room without a performance. And so, everyone was blessed with a serenade of crashes, curses and mutters. 

_ ‘It was a miracle that the Shadowhunters slept through that,’ Magnus thought. He wondered if it was it even possible for such alert people to sleep so deeply? _

_ Whatever. He shrugged it off as a blessing from the Angel. _

The moment he got to his feet, Magnus all but ran to his private study. 

_ (Damn, he's been doing a lot of running lately. Might want to sign up for a gym, he notes in his head.) _

And as soon as the door closed and he had put up silence runes, he screamed.

He began to shriek near the end nearly surprising himself. _ (Maybe he should become a singer, with high notes like those. He reminds himself to add it to his to do list.) _

No one had willed him to take it this far before. Not even Camille. Not even-

Breaking him from his deep thoughts was a sharp pang in his heart. The pain was so intense it had taken him awhile to realize it was there. Magnus felt weak in his knees as he struggled to sit down. It  _ hurt. _ __ His heart felt as if it was pulling away from his body with powerful yanks urging him to follow it. His breath faltered and his throat felt so dry he could barley manage a croak without it feeling like a just drank a gallon of acid. It was _torture._ His heart ached with longing...  _ Longing?  _ His mind suddenly felt blurry and he barely realized he had fallen hard on his leg.

All he knew was that he had to get to the child.  _ Child?  _

_ As in Alexander's presumed child? _

_ “Yessss,”  _ his inner Alpha whispered.  _ “Your responsibility, your bonds, your mate, your family.” _

Wait a minute. Magnus felt his breath stop short in his throat. 

These feelings hit him in ways more than physical… Instant connection with stranger… Intrusive thoughts almost immediately… Severe urge to take care of and breed...

Shocked and not willing to believe anything he was starting to think, he knew what had to be done.

Magnus grit his teeth and his felt tears well up as he pushed himself to stand, using the leg of his desk to balance himself. He took a few breaths to steady his racing heart and to sooth his migraine. Magnus grinned and shook his head at how dramatic he was.

Taking a quick peek in the peacock themed mirror, he did a quick run over of his appearance. His hair was messy and greased with the layers of hair gel it was currently defying. He had smudges of mascara from the tears on his face, his lips which her once painted perfectly now looked like they were from a bad 90's movie. Magnus stared deeper in his tired eyes. Anyone looking at him right now would believe he was cosplaying as an Asian Edward Scissorhands. Magnus sighed. 

Instantly his eyes turned sharp and focused and Magnus took a deep breath and opened his cabinet. 

Decades worth of dust spewed out of the messy bookcase and coated Magnus’s luxury shoes and his sweaty and exasperated face. But none of that mattered now. What mattered was digging out all those old volumes about Soulmates he had long ago collected. Once upon a time, when he had felt hopeless after years of searching. These books had been a guilty pleasure really.

At least it had been. 

Until now. 

Now it was.. 

…..

...A huge problem. This was a huge problem. And Magnus Bane did not want to be part of this at all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope this chapter was up to par :) Quarantine had really put me in a tough place the last few months, i had no motivation to do anything. But this week i woke up and thought to myself, it was time to get back on track. Quarantine showed me that pushing away the things you care about the most when you are in a hard place is the worst thing you can do for your mental health and wellbeing. 
> 
> im pretty proud of making this chapter, and i plan on weekly updates.
> 
> What do you think Magnus realized...? What was going on with the bonds...? What was happening while Magnus ran around...?


End file.
